Obama"s DREAM For Our Kids:
When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Crony'
The Liberal Monologues
1. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer Mothers driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution; while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason 'Socialism' hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right peoplehaven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected but and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, rightwing conspiracy. And you must believe that your freedom was won by and protected by America's media and not the warriors that have defended America.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer Mothers driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution; while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason 'Socialism' hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right peoplehaven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected but and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, rightwing conspiracy. And you must believe that your freedom was won by and protected by America's media and not the warriors that have defended America.
For this election, I'm voting Democrat!
I'm voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America.
I'm voting Democrat because it's better to turn corn into fuel than it is to eat.
I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $6 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.
I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.
I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq , I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will disappear in ten years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.
I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to kill millions of babies as long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.
I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.
I'm voting Democrat because oil companies 8% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.
I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education, or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally. We can't blame them for that, can we?
I'm voting Democrat because now I can now marry whatever I want, so I've decided to marry my horse.
(It will be a shot-gun wedding because she always keeps saying NEIGH!!!)
I'm voting Democrat because it's better to turn corn into fuel than it is to eat.
I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $6 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.
I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.
I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq , I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will disappear in ten years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.
I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to kill millions of babies as long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.
I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.
I'm voting Democrat because oil companies 8% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.
I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education, or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally. We can't blame them for that, can we?
I'm voting Democrat because now I can now marry whatever I want, so I've decided to marry my horse.
(It will be a shot-gun wedding because she always keeps saying NEIGH!!!)
